


Cause a Scene (like you're supposed to)

by fujibutts



Series: Tight Tights and Short Shorts [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (again sorry bokuto), (sorry akaashi), (sorry bokuto), Angst, Depression, Fukurodani loves their captain, Gen, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Past Suicide Attempt, Self-Harm, Trigger Warnings, also some of this is set in a hospital, by self harm i mean everything short of explicit depiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-16
Updated: 2014-11-03
Packaged: 2018-02-13 08:18:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2143647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fujibutts/pseuds/fujibutts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Having spent the entire night before studying for the unit exam in literature, Akaashi was already exhausted when he arrived at morning practice. In contrast Bokuto had apparently chosen that day to be especially loud, complaining about the littlest things and then sulking like a child. By the time afternoon practice had begun Akaashi's patience was stretched paper thin. It was also made loud and clear that Bokuto had no plans on letting up on his day long tantrum.</p><p>...</p><p>Washio walked back to practice. Behind him, Bokuto let his smile fall as he sat down onto a bench and bent forward, cradling his head and rocking back and forth slightly. His hands moved to cover his ears as he hummed, trying to take a moment to block everything out.</p><p>It was all just a little too much and really really wasn't what he needed right now.</p><p>(warnings inside)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I've always loved Bokuto's design... Especially his tights. I love his tights. I love.
> 
> Also I'm such a poser wow the title is from [Therapy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RfxAcMFlSI) but the song doesn't really influence what little plot this has.
> 
> In case you haven't read the tags:  
> TRIGGER WARNING: self harm (aftermath, hospitalization, pretty much everything but outright describing it), suicide attempt (references and vaguely-but-not-that-vaguely describes a past suicide attempt), medication (referenced in passing), hospitals (setting), outsider PoV on the topic of self harm (Akaashi's PoV, nothing intentionally offensive on his part)

For the hundredth time that day, his brow twitched. Having spent the entire night before studying for the unit exam in literature, Akaashi was already exhausted when he arrived at morning practice. In contrast Bokuto had apparently chosen that day to be especially loud, complaining about the littlest things and then sulking like a child. To make matters worse, when lunch came around, he found that he had not brought food... or money.

By the time afternoon practice had begun Akaashi's patience was stretched paper thin. It was also made loud and clear that Bokuto had no plans on letting up on his day long tantrum. Desperate, Akaashi looked to the third years for guidance, but they all averted their eyes. Even Sarukui, ever helpful, only shook his head and offered a simple thumbs-up before returning to practice. Groaning, he turned away from the team and stalked away to the nearest bench.

As if on cue, Bokuto bounded over and ruffled his hair, ignoring the displeased groan Akaashi replied with, and began a lecture about being too lazy and not having enough spirit. Or something like that; Akaashi had long since learnt to tune him out, but Bokuto's tone was exceptionally loud and obnoxious today.

Again Akaashi's brow twitched as he took a deep breath. He knew he should be polite because Bokuto was his senpai as well as captain and it would be improper if he blew up in the middle of practice and-

"Aren't you listening? Get up lazybones!"

Akaashi felt something in him snap and shot up, causing Bokuto to jump back in surprise. "You're so goddamned annoying! Don't you ever shut up?!" Akaashi shouted, too taken by anger to be shocked at his volume.

At his words Bokuto's face fell, obviously not expecting his kouhai to actually shout at him. "Akaashi…"

"NO!” Akaashi interrupted, “Don't you have any tact? Can't you see that I can't deal with your shit today!?"

Bokuto's lips twitched into a frown and his eyebrows furrowed as he took a step towards the distressed boy. He knew he should have held more sympathy for Akaashi and he would have tried to be more diplomatic on a better day, but he couldn't bring himself to summon the patience to. Instead anger flared in his veins and simmered in his throat as bitter venom, "Oh yeah? Well maybe you're not the only one who can't deal with shit today!"

"What shit!" Akaashi took a step towards Bokuto too, jabbing him in the chest with an outstretched finger. "I'm the one who has to deal with your shit day in and day out! At least I don't act like a loudmouthed brat!" He knew somewhere in the back of his mind that he would regret shouting at Bokuto in the morning, but was too caught up in the moment, every repressed instance of anger and frustration of the day coming to light.

With a growl, Bokuto grabbed Akaashi's collar, "Well no one's forcing you to deal with me!" he spat before releasing the other boy roughly.

Akaashi stumbled back and glared at Bokuto. For a long moment the two stared at each other, not mindful of the fact that the gym was completely silent, entranced by their argument.

Then he grunted and turned away, stomping out of the gym.

In the wake of Akaashi’s exit, the gym was left in stunned silence. Not even Konoha dared to make one of his snide remarks.

Bokuto shook himself out of his stupor quickly and clapped his hands, the smile usually plastered on his face was nowhere to be found. Instead it replaced by an authoritative look rarely seen on the captain’s face, "Come on guys get to practice!" he boomed.

Immediately the first and second years jumped into action, the third years following after a moment of hesitation. Bokuto made no move to join the rest of the team in their exercise, preferring to watch from the sidelines. Another half hour in it was clear Akaashi wasn't coming back, at least for the rest of practice. Huffing, Bokuto brought his hands up to slap his cheeks to shake him out of the funk he found himself in. Unfortunately, it didn't work.

He was angry and frustrated at Akaashi for blowing up at him, but he was also angry and frustrated at himself for driving Akaashi away. His vice-captain had never walked out on him before. No matter how much Akaashi rolled his eyes at Bokuto and insulted him, both of them knew that he didn’t really mean it. But his voice earlier was filled with so much resentment… Bokuto rubbed roughly at his eyes and the frustrated tears threatening to leak out, groaning in frustration.

"Koutarou…"

Bokuto blinked and saw his long-time friend standing right beside him. "What's up Tatsuki?"

"Are you okay?"

Shrugging, he sighed, "No difference from yesterday I guess."

Washio nodded, resting a hand on Bokuto's shoulder. "Talk to us, okay?"

Bokuto smiled, giving him a thumbs up, "You don't have to tell me twice to talk!"

With that, Washio walked back to practice. Behind him, Bokuto let his smile fall as he sat down onto a bench and bent forward, cradling his head and rocking back and forth slightly. His hands moved to cover his ears as he hummed, trying to take a moment to block everything out.

It was all just a little too much and really _really_ wasn't what he needed right now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto doesn't show up to practice and the others get anxious.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: This is where the implied/referenced self harm and implied/referenced past suicide attempt trigger warnings come in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since we have basically no info on the Fukurodani boys (or their manager(s) if any) so I'm taking some characterization into my own hands.
> 
> Washio and Bokuto have known each other since elementary/primary school. Sarukui and Konoha have known each other since elementary/primary school. All four met up in jr. high. Then they met Komi in high school. They all met Akaashi in his first year (their second), and Onaga a year after but Onaga isn't mentioned at all (sorry Onaga...)
> 
> Because they all seem pretty laid back, I'm just having the third years refer to each other by first name (or a nickname), and others refer to them/they refer to others by their last names. Narration will refer to characters by last name- unless there are multiple characters with the same last name.
> 
> (Just as a side note, based on his looks I'm mostly basing Konoha off of Arakita, with the tough guy attitude and penchant for cute nicknames.)

When Akaashi woke the next morning to his blaring alarm clock, he could already tell that it was going to be a much easier day than the one before.

After storming out of practice the day before, he had taken his time walking home, not worried about being late and subsequently having to stay up until fuck o'clock studying. He had his homework done in record time because he wasn't dead tired from practice and the usual jog home. He packed his lunch and even slipped a few bills into the pocket of his bag so yesterday's lunchtime incident would not be repeated again. All in all it was a relaxing night.

He was first to arrive at practice as usual, unlocking the gym and club room with the keys the old captain had given him along with the title of vice-captain because, as quoted by both the former captain and their coach, Bokuto couldn't be trusted with the keys. Akaashi couldn't say he disagreed.

People filed into the locker room and changed quickly, chatting amicably with one another despite the early hour. One by one they trickled into the gym and the sound of balls being hit and shoes squeaking on the floor soon filled the gym. But there was one key player missing.

Where the hell was Bokuto? The night before Akaashi had come to the conclusion that his behavior was out of line and his insults uncalled for, so he owed Bokuto an apology. But he couldn't do that if the man was nowhere to be found. Shrugging it off, Akaashi tried not to mind his captain's absence and returned to practice.

Then about halfway through he noticed something amiss.

All of the third years (the only four aside from Bokuto who were stubborn enough to stay through their third year despite the extra pressure of graduation exams and university entrance exams) had commandeered a small corner of the gym, seemingly in deep conversation. Akaashi had been just about to walk over to tell them to quit wasting time when Komi suddenly pointed at Akaashi. Sarukui was quick to react and slapped Komi's hand down hopefully before Akaashi noticed, but it was already too late. He made his way toward the foursome, wondering just what they were talking about.

"Hello Akaash-kun, we'll get back to practice soon, just let us finish this, okay?" Sarukui told, instead of asked him. The woes of being a second year vice captain were not unfamiliar to Akaashi. The title didn't mean much when there were people with more seniority than him.

Akaashi nodded, but did not leave the group, instead he bent at the waist and bowed deeply to his upperclassmen. "I apologize for the scene I caused yesterday, I promise not to disrupt practice like that again!"

"Tch!"

Straightening, Akaashi raised an eyebrow at the source of the noise. "Is there something wrong with my apology, Konoha-san?"

Konoha's sharp eyes narrowed at Akaashi as his mouth twisted into a snarl, "Hmph, you should know your place kid! What you did yesterday wa-"

"Konoha!"

The blonde boy snorted and shot a glare at Akaashi before turning away, "Fine, but if Bokkun ends up dead, you better watch out." With that he left, inserting himself into a practice game between some first and second years.

Feeling confused and slightly threatened, Akaashi turned to his remaining senpai, looking for guidance. But like the day before, none of them looked him in the eye. The silence was thick between the four of them, before a frustrated growl came from their libero.

"What if he does!" Komi shouted suddenly, pulling at the scruffy tuft of hair at the top of his head in distress.

Sarukui sighed, "Haruki stop it, you know he's not going to die."

Again Akaashi was confused. He knew that his senpai were all very good friends. Three years of playing volleyball would definitely do that to you. But weren't they overreacting a bit? Bokuto was just absent, he'd been absent before and Akaashi was willing to bet money that he'd be playing hooky for a few more days of school before the semester was over.

Noticing the look on Akaashi's face, Sarukui gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder, "Don't worry about it he's just overreac-"

"Yamato I'm not!"

Washio sighed and placed a hand over the shorter boy's mouth, dragging him to the same court Konoha had stalked off to a few minutes before.

Alone with Akaashi, Sarukui squeezed his shoulder again, "Like I said, overreacting," before following his fellow third years.

Left with more questions than he had to begin with, Akaashi pushed everything having to do with Bokuto to the back of his mind and continued with practice. He'll just apologize when Bokuto returned to school the next day.

...

When Bokuto woke the next morning to his blaring alarm clock, he could already tell that it was going to be a much more difficult day than the one before.

The first thing he registered when he woke up was the nausea. He laid in bed, trying to calm the churning in his stomach with a few deep breaths as his alarm blared on. When he was sure it wasn't working, he growled, sitting up and slamming a fist down on the clock's off button.

The second thing he registered when he woke up was the pain.

He froze, letting his legs relax into a semi-comfortable position before pitching forward, grabbing fistfuls of his hair and pulling, clenching and unclenching his jaw, gnawing and licking his bottom lip; anything to distract him from the searing pain. He knew he would regret last night. He knew it before he started and during it and while he was cleaning up but he _still did it_ and he was just _so frustrated_ and so _angry what the fuck is wrong with you? You deserve this pain maybe they’ll get infected and you won’t be able to play volleyball anymore because you don’t deserve to have fun you actual piece of human trash-_

A knock came at his door, followed by the familiar voice of his mother snapping him out of his train of thought, "Koutarou dear you're going to be late for school!"

Bokuto took a shaky breath and released his hair to wipe the the tears that had begun to mist his eyes. "I'm staying home today," he replied, cursing his voice for cracking.

There was no reply for a long while, and Bokuto would have assumed that his mother had left to go about her daily business, but he didn't hear her footsteps going down the hall. So instead he steeled himself for what would probably be an exhausting conversation.

"May I come in?"

"Yeah."

Bokuto Hikari opened the door slowly, and took her time walking across the small room to sit at her son's side. She scanned his face, registering the red rimmed and glossy eyes, the blood beading on his lip and the almost desperate look distorting her usually cheerful son's face. With as much deliberation as she took approaching the bed, Hikari took a handkerchief from her pocket to dab at her son's lip. When she finished, she placed a hand on Koutarou's cheek and tried to ignore the split second when he almost flinched away. "Are you okay dear?"

Kotarou gripped at the bed sheets, letting out a pained sob before shaking his head and looking up at his mom's concerned face, "Hurts," he choked out before lunging forward and gripping at his mom's apron.

The few wrinkles on Hikari's face grew more pronounced as her son sobbed into her shoulder. She wrapped him in a warm embrace and started running her fingers through his hair and making shushing noises, but it only seemed to make her son cry harder. Like any mother, the sight of her child in distress caused her pain, and she couldn't help but let a few silent tears out.

She had noticed that Kotarou had been having a particularly difficult week, complaining loudly about his lack of energy. His tendencies to voice his feelings were always good, and both she and her husband encouraged Kotarou to vent his feelings instead of keeping them in, lest they have a repeat of last time.

But when Kotarou came home without so much as a hello before going straight to his bedroom, the warning bells began to sound in her head. At dinnertime she checked on her son, but he was sound asleep. She decided it was best to leave him be and sleep it off. Neither she nor her husband heard Bokuto when he snuck off to the shower in the middle of the night.

It seemed like hours before Kotarou calmed down and the desperate sobs became nothing but soft hiccups. She kissed the top of his head before releasing her son, "Is it the same as last time?"

Kotarou jerked his head away from his mother, not willing to answer.

"Kotarou please, you have to tell me."

Without turning back to face her, the boy nodded.

Hikari let out a shaky breath before standing up and holding out a hand to her son. "Can you walk to the car? We have to get it checked out so it doesn't get infected." She ignored the anxiety pooling at the bottom of her stomach. What if Kotarou couldn't walk? The last time this happened Kotarou was much smaller and her husband carried him to the car.

But after a moment of hesitation Kotarou folded the covers aside to reveal his legs, tense and clad in the compression rights he wore to volleyball. Upon closer observation, Hikari noted that there were some lumps under the fabric, signaling where Kotarou had probably tried his hand at first-aid. Slowly Kotarou shifted so his legs hung off the bed, and took the hand Hikari still held out, coming to a standing position.

The pair made their way down the hallway and eventually down the stairs. When Kotarou was buckled in, Hikari started the car and began to drive to the hospital. She tried to focus on the road and the sound of the calming music coming from the car's stereo instead of that night two years ago when she found her son in the bathtub with a gash on the inside of his thigh.

As if sensing his mother's distress, Kotarou pried one of her hands from the steering wheel. When she noticed what her son was trying to do, Hikari released the white knuckled grip she had on the wheel and allowed her son to take her hand in both of his as he squeezed it comfortingly. "Sorry mom," he murmured.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An interlude.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Hospitals/hospitalization (a lot of this is set in a general hospital setting), outsider POV (concerning depression/self injury), suicide attempt (references and vaguely-but-not-that-vaguely describes a past suicide attempt), medication (referenced in passing)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god i'm so sorry it took so fucking long to update but i promise not a day went by that i didn't think of this wow wowww
> 
> konoha's team nicknames:  
> Bokuto: Bokkun  
> Washio: Tsukichin  
> Komi: Haru-chan  
> Sarukui: Yama-chan  
> 

Once the conversation ended practice continued as usual, and when that finished, they all went their separate ways.

Break was quiet without Bokuto rushing down from the third years' floor to yap his ear off for the entirety of the ten minutes until their next class, but Akaashi quickly put all thoughts of the boy out of his head. No use lingering on through the of someone who would probably be back by the next day.

When lunch came around Akaashi made his way to the spot where the team usually sat. It was mainly the second and third years, with the occasional first year who found solace within the group instead of their junior high friends. But when he arrived, Akaashi frowned. Just like morning practice the third years were huddled together, stuck in the middle of some secret conversation that, if he stuck his head in the middle of it, he would probably be left with more questions than answers.

He was about to sit with some of his second year friends and just leave the upperclassmen to their business when he heard the deep voice of Washio call his name, "Akaashi, we have news."

Gingerly he made his way to the group. He took a seat beside Sarukui, as far away from Konoha glaring daggers at him, but not so far away in case Komi decided to keel over as he looked white as a sheet.

"Read it Washio read it!" Komi shouted, some color rising to his still sickly looking cheeks.

Konoha nodded, "I can't believe you're telling us just now. That text was from hours ago! What if it was an emergency?"

Washio frowned and ignored Konoha, instead turning to face Akaashi, "I recieved a text from Mrs. Bokuto."

Akaashi nodded, waiting for the boy to continue.

"Bokuto is in the hospital."

There was a sharp intake of breath to his right (Sarukui) and even further right was a high pitched whine that slowly drew out into a sob (Komi).

"Koutarou!" Komi shouted, lunging forward to grab at Washio's lapels. "Is he okay?!" he demanded.

Washio pried lithe fingers off of his blazer and smoother the wrinkles, "His mother asked me to bring his assignments after practice. She also told me that he would appreciate some visitors."

"What are you saying after practice?" Konoha griped, "Let's just cancel the damn practice!"

"No." Washio's stern response immediately silenced the blonde. "Mrs. Bokuto told me that he said not to let this interfere with practice. We're honoring his wishes."

Sarukui snorted, "Ah Tatsuki you make it sound like he's dead," he said with light chuckle.

Three sets of eyes immediately turned to the wing spiker, followed by Akaashi's at a slower pace.

Sarukui shrank back, rubbing at the back of his head, "Eh, sorry guys I wasn't thinking about my words."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll have the second part up eventually i promise i have an entire series planned out with other parts exploring other areas in the universe ahh HAHH


End file.
